Finding Your "Why" in Foster Care:
Highlights from Clarvida’s Foster Parent FB Live
At Clarvida, we believe in the power of community and conversation—especially when it comes to supporting those who choose to step forward and care for children and youth in foster care. In our recent Facebook Live session, Clarvida leaders, Amna Gilmore the Director of Foster Care in Arizona and Gaven Ludlow the Director of Operations in Colorado, came together with foster parents, professionals and community members for a meaningful discussion about what it really looks like to show up for kids in need. Clarvida provides consistent guidance and support to foster parents—starting with the licensing process and continuing through every step of each placement.
From sharing personal experiences to talking through real-life challenges and successes, the session was centered on strengthening foster parenting skills, providing support in the moment, and reinforcing the evidence-based practices that guide our informed approach.
Exploring the “Why” Behind Foster Care
We opened the session by reflecting on the motivations behind becoming a foster parent. Why do people take this path? Why do they open their homes and hearts?
Staff shared thoughtful, personal reasons from foster parents:
- To help children without family support
- To keep sibling groups together
- To make a difference for kids who didn’t choose their circumstances
- Because of personal childhood experiences or connections to foster care
We’ve learned that people often need to hear about foster care multiple times before seriously considering it. That’s why sharing these personal “whys” really matters—it plants the seed, invites curiosity, and encourages others to explore the possibility.
Real-Life Challenges, Real-Life Solutions
Foster parenting is complex. There’s no sugarcoating it—and that’s why part of the session focused on common struggles and the tools that help families navigate them.
Some of the top challenges identified with being a foster parent included:
- Understanding trauma-based behaviors that may be misread as disobedience
- Navigating paperwork and systems that can feel overwhelming
- Advocating in school and medical settings
- Managing secondary trauma and compassion fatigue
- Coping with the unknowns and emotional shifts of placement changes
With the support of trauma-informed tools like Trust-Based Relational Intervention and Motivational Interviewing, foster families are building stronger relationships, creating structure, and tending to emotional needs—for both the kids and themselves.
Celebrating the Rewards
Even with the challenges, staff spoke about the deeply meaningful moments that make the foster parent experience worthwhile:
- Seeing kids feel safe, sometimes for the very first time
- Celebrating progress, big or small
- Supporting reunification or other long-term permanency plans
- Sharing moments of connection that stay with you
- Knowing that even a short time together can have a lasting impact
Advice for the Foster Parents of Tomorrow
To close out the session, our Clarvida staff offered guidance for those considering the foster parent journey:
- Children in care often have strong bonds with their families—honor and support those connections
- Be open to navigating cultural or racial differences thoughtfully and respectfully
- Build your support system, whether through other foster parents, groups, or your agency
- Expect to form deep bonds and know you can make an impact—and understand that goodbyes may be hard
- Most importantly: This journey is possible, and you’re not alone
